The Pummelo: Family Makes Fortune By Scrapbooking Human ...

MADISON, WI - Officials in this capital city are wondering what to charge a couple with today as it has been discovered that they have been running an underground human remains scrapbooking business.?Apparently the couple, Fred and Carla Wilmington, have been taking scraps of skin, hair, and other body parts, preserving them, and then have delightfully scrapbooked them in a commemorative album for grieving family members since 1991.

"It's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my 15 years on the job," said Madison police office Jergen Wilson. "To do what they've been doing to the bodies of the dead is revolting. It's disgusting. It's inhumane. It's pukey. It's enough to make me want to go to Texas Roadhouse and actually order a steak dinner."

The Wilmingtons, who would charge a family $199.95 for a 20 page album, would come to a service just before the funeral was to begin, with the family's permission, and harvest items from the dead that could not be seen during open casket ceremonies. For closed casket ceremonies, the Wilmingtons reportedly charged $299.95, but would include slices of organs in the commemorative album as well depending on the condition of the body.

Harriet Maurer is a big fan of the Wilmington's work. "When my Robert died in 1998 in a terrible car accident, I thought I was going to be devastated. But then I heard about the Wilmingtons and what they offered people, and so I had pieces of my Robert's heart preserved so that he can live up to his promise to love me with all his heart until the day I die."

Assistant District Attorney Peter Welch tells The Pummelo that he is pretty positive some laws have been broken, but his office just isn't sure which ones. "We're probably going to charge them with body tampering because of the profits they've been making without paying sales taxes to the state. We've got to do something since Scott Walker won't raise taxes and has eliminated employee bargaining, you know."

It is unknown how much the Wilmingtons have made from this business venture, but it is estimated to be at least seven figures. "And the next time I have a family member who passes away, I'm going to make sure that part of them gets saved in a commemorative scrapbook made by them as well," Maurer tells us. "It's much, much better to have this than some lousy funeral home bulletin."

The Wilmingtons could not be reached for comment on this story.

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